Interview 13: Sex, Desire, and Mental Health
Dr. Bird and the Bees
11.3.25 | Skills | 51 min
Sexual health is often left out of mental health conversations, yet it profoundly shapes our quality of life and relationships. In this episode, Dr. Liz Bird — clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and owner of Evergreen Therapy — joins us to explore the overlap between sexual and mental health, with a focus on sexual desire.
Dr. Bird introduces the dual control model, the idea that everyone has a unique “gas and brake” system for sexual response, and how understanding your own pedals can transform your sexual experience. We break down myths about “sex drive,” unpack the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, and discuss why “low desire” may not actually be about desire at all.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, dating, or navigating sexuality on your own, this conversation sheds light on the complex and individualized nature of desire — and how to approach it with curiosity, compassion, and guts.
Resources Mentioned in the Episode:
Dr. Liz Bird’s blog on sexual health: https://www.evergreenseattle.com/blog-sex-relationships-mental-health
Emily Nagoski’s books and podcast: Come As You Are (book and podcast) and Come Together
Sexual Inhibition and Sexual Excitation Scale (SIS/SES) – a research tool measuring “gas and brake” factors
guts’ earlier episode on mindfulness for practical tips you can apply to sexual wellbeing: https://www.gutsnonprofit.org/podcast/mindfulness
Music Credit: Nathan Byrne with Reel Byrne Media.
